Elder care? There are novels about that?

Yes, there are and I'll discuss them in a bit.

Last week, I was in Indiana to bury my 103 year old paternal great-grandmother, my last great-grandparent, and to visit my 85 year old paternal grandmother, my last living grandparent.  Both spent the last couple of years in a nursing home/ assisted living facility.  The place my grandmother lives is the same nursing home my maternal grandmother had lived in for the last few years of her life.  It is a very nice facility as far as nursing homes go.

 I have some childhood memories of another nursing home, where one of my great-grandmothers had lived for 20 years.  It was a wretched place; not to excuse that particular facility but it was 30 years ago.  It reeked, a smell that has never left my brain, a smell I always connect with the old and infirm  who are not cared for properly.  Those experiences at that nursing home all those years ago made me never want to put one of my loved ones in a place like it.  I still don't like nursing homes, still prefer not to put my loved ones in one but I do understand they serve a purpose, just like child care centers serve a purpose.
In the novel Leota's Garden, a granddaughter unexpectedly takes over the care of her infirm grandmother.  In the process, she meets a young man who advocates for turning old buildings into nursing homes.  It's been a long while since I read this book, yet it resonated with me.  I would be the granddaughter who would care for her grandmother like this, never mind I couldn't paint or plant my way out of a paper bag.  I would be the crusader against nursing homes.  In this novel, the grandmother, Leota, is estranged from her children; my grandmothers were not estranged from their children.  In truth, I wanted my life and my grandmother's to be like this novel and, of course, it was not to be.  This novel mirrors the social dialogue that was taking place at the time of it's publication (1999) over the care of the elderly.



The year before that, Robertson McQuilken, a past president of Columbia International University, published the story of his dear wife Muriel who was stricken with Alzheimer's and his journey of caring for her in A Promise Kept.  Muriel "stopped recognizing her husband in 1993" and passed away in 2003.  This deeply touched the romantic in me, the romantic that wanted to care for my grandmother, the romantic who doesn't always see the reality, the romantic who hoped my dear husband would do the same for me.  A few years later Pat Robertson said it was okay for a spouse to divorce the other spouse who was ill with this awful disease. What about the "in sickness and in health" part of the marriage vows, Dr. Roberston?  Robertson tried to rationalize the situation by saying Alzherimer's is a kind of death but McQuilkinson's response dispels that: "In a CT article written after his resignation from Columbia, McQuilkin explained his decision.  "When the time came, the decision was firm. It took no great calculation. It was a matter of integrity. Had I not promised, 42 years before, 'in sickness and in health . . . till death do us part'?  This was no grim duty to which I stoically resigned, however. It was only fair. She had, after all, cared for me for almost four decades with marvelous devotion; now it was my turn. And such a partner she was! If I took care of her for 40 years, I would never be out of her debt," McQuilkin wrote."  


If Christians can't agree on elder care, what hope is there?  But I digress.

The second novel that touches on this subject is Winterflight, originally published in 1981.  A little boy is born with hemophilia who should not have been born if the official state rules for genetic testing had been done.  This little boy's parents live in fear of his condition being found out.  His grandfather is nearing his 75th birthday when he gets his letter instructing him to go to the local euthanasia center. Be warned, this novel does not have a happy ending but it is certainly very thought-provoking and worth the read.  An Amazon reviewer labeled this novel an allegory.  Unfortunately, I think it has gone beyond that to prophetic. As I perused the headlines this morning, I found an article which seems to highlight once again the prescient nature of this book:

Top doctor's chilling claim: The NHS kills off 130,000 elderly patients every year

I realize the Daily Mail can be quite sensational, but let's face it, once abortion became acceptable the next logical fall down the slippery slope is killing the elderly.

I don't have the answers to how to provide care for the elderly.  I know that what some families choose to do, others cannot, for whatever reason, make the same choice.  I do know we cannot kill our elderly once they become infirm.  I do know that whatever care they receive should be the best possible care at the best possible facility.

I leave you with these two quotes.
"...the moral test of government is how that government treats those who are in the dawn of life, the children; those who are in the twilight of life, the elderly; those who are in the shadows of life; the sick, the needy and the handicapped. " ~ Last Speech of Hubert H. Humphrey

"Our society must make it right and possible for old people not to fear the young or be deserted by them, for the test of a civilization is the way that it cares for its helpless members." Pearl S. Buck (1892-1973), My Several Worlds [1954].